Happy 9th Birthday Preslee

To my firstborn (only by a minute),

Today you are nine years old. As I sat writing this post, I thought about the past nine years – or rather, eight years and 364 days – how quickly it feels like it’s gone by. How it seems that one day, I was sitting in the back seat of the car, hunched protectively over your infant car seat on your trip home from the hospital, wondering just when the rest of the world became such bad drivers and started listening to their stereos so loudly — and then I blinked and you’re executing a back walkover on a balance beam high in the air, so confident.

How did we get from there to here?

It’s gone so quickly.

I hope that I’m treasuring each moment as I should – embracing every second of this time. Sometimes I’m afraid that it will take just one more quick blink and I’ll be watching you cross a stage, accepting your diploma and moving towards whatever next stage of greatness awaits you.

I’ll be proud then. I know I will. I will know that it’s what Daddy and I’ve prepared you for all these years. In my head, when I think about you turning nine, I think, “She’s halfway to eighteen.”

Slow down a little, world.

This has been such an amazing year for you – and I probably say that every year – but frankly, girly, you just get more and more amazing as each year goes by. I’m not just saying that because I’m your mommy, it’s really true.

In the past year, I watched you give gymnastics a real try.  You have really grown so much as an athlete. I look at you practice and I see how strong you’ve gotten, how much more confident you look when you’re executing a new skill. I see muscles where you once had none. I see an excitement when you master a stunt, a sense of pride. And while those achievements are your own – I had nothing to do with them, the practice and hard work is your own – I am still so proud when I see you.

I go to your practice and I think to myself when I see you, “That one – the one with the long blonde ponytail. She’s mine.” I sit and with camera pressed to my face (of course), I am glued to each routine, from the second you take the floors to when you look at your coach when you’ve completed the routine. All the while I think to myself, I am so proud of her.

I hope I tell you often enough how proud I am.

This year, I started leaving notes in your bag every day – I wanted to be sure that each day you know that you mean a lot to me, that you’re special to me, and how much I love you. When I found that pile of notes in your locker, when you said you were saving them, it made my heart so truly happy – because I am glad that they mean something to you too. I never wanted you to question that each day you are on my mind, each day you are in my heart.

Yesterday, you received a card with birthday money in the mail – you told me last night, “I think I know what I want to spend it on! CHAPTER BOOKS!” You are a reader – and this makes me so completely happy. You’re a good student all around, actually – but the reading, well, that steals my heart. Life is never boring if you have books and you love books. When you have a love for words and understand the magic of words, the world is a wide expanse of possibility – and there is nothing to hold you back from whatever adventure you seek – between the pages or beyond.

Every year, I write the letter to you – afraid I will leave something out – some major characteristic you developed over the year and that when I go back and re-read it, I will wish I had said that this was the year you did this or that.  But what I mean more than anything else is this:

Happy birthday to you, my sweet P.  You are nine today. You were a part of my heart before I even held you in my arms. Once I saw your face, I knew I’d go to the ends of the earth to show you that you are loved, that I love you, that you mean the world to me.

Best Preslee in the world.  I love you,

Mommy

Happy 9th Birthday Mason

OK, sweet girl. Bring it in. Time for a half time pep talk.

Today you are turning 9. I know. I can't believe it either, but your birth certificate doesn't lie even if I haven't aged a day past 35.

We are at the halfway point of this "raising" you thing. We've been pretty focused on just keeping you alive up until now, teaching you the basics of how to get through this thing called life.

You've learned some pretty important stuff in the process. Like how you smell is important, so take a shower at least every other day -- and always assume you have morning breath. Or eating a rainbow does not necessarily mean a pack of skittles, although sometimes that is an acceptable lunch alternative.

You've also learned some pretty important life skills, such as learning to help your friends who struggle in the classroom. Playing on a team can be fun even if you sometimes lose. And perseverance and hard work pay off, especially when trying to learn those fancy foot skills on the soccer field.

We've made a great team and rocked this first half of your life, but we only have nine short years left before I'm no longer your coach, before you take this game on all on your own. I'll always be there for you, but before you know it, you'll be flying out of the nest just like those other baby birds.

In this next half, you'll have to make more play calls by yourself, and there are going to be a lot of distractions. Girlfriends, boyfriends (NO!), cell phones, social media, hormones and so many other things will ring loudly in your ears. It is going to be tough to hear me -- and sometimes you're not going to listen -- but I'll never stop trying.  Although other moms have warned me that the second half is hard -- maybe the hardest -- part of having a daughter, I think we're ready to tackle it. Like any good coach, I've got a game plan, and I know what worked in the first half -- no matter how great we did together -- probably won't work in the next.

So, as we move into this second half, here's what I want you to know:

1. Your decisions are important. One decision can change your entire life. It takes courage to decide you are not ready for something, and courage to decide to make yourself vulnerable and try something new. Always be courageous.

2. Maintain your digital privacy. If you would not walk into the lunchroom and shout it out, don't ever text or share it on social media. And never hit send on an email before double checking who is in the "to" field. Trust me.

3. Use the right measurements. Life is not measured in the amount of likes you get on Instagram, numbers on a scale or even your GPA. And there isn't a "thing" you can buy with the money you make that can fill a void in your soul. Always remember that life is about the impact you have on others, so work on building your brain and growing your heart, and the rest will fall into place.

4. Always believe the best in people. Girls can be mean. Well, really, people can be mean. There will be a million times when someone says something or does something or you are told about something that rips your heart to shreds. Give that person the benefit of the doubt, and then offer them grace -- because when this stuff happens, it is not about you, sweet girl. It says infinitely more about them.

5. Use your voice. Never sit idly by while someone else is being treated poorly. Period.

6. Don't pretend to be something you're not. Always always be yourself. Pretending to be something you aren’t just to fit in is virtually exhausting.  You are amazing!  Show the world that!

7. Take charge of your own happiness. No one can make you happy. It is a choice you have to make and it is hard. Trying to fill a void in your life with a person -- or with another tangible such as food, alcohol, drugs, etc. is a lost cause. Find out what makes you the happiest, and then do that. A lot.

8. Never diss your sisters or your girlfriends. You need them more than you know.

9. You are enough, exactly as you are. At a minimum of 50 times each day, you will be told you are inadequate, and Photoshop will change what you think is normal. You will feel that your teeth are not white enough. Your hair is too flat. Your boots are cheap.  Your makeup is wrong. Your voice is too high. Your face is too thin.  I wish I could say it gets better, but it doesn't. Do not let these feelings break your spirit and fight against the urge to conform. Love yourself for who you are in this exact moment, because you are perfect. This is a lesson that most of us learn after having kids, but I'm letting you in on it now. You are a gift to this world, and if you ever forget, just ask. I know I'm just your mom, but I have a long list of compelling reasons why you are awesome.

10. The best is yet to come. The next nine years will have a lot of highs and lows, but you have the best that life has to offer sitting before you. And as it becomes less often that you reach back to grab my hand or beg me to lay with you for just five more minutes, or think I'm the smartest person in the whole wide world, I'll always be there for you --

Happy 9th birthday to my baby. I am so so proud of you and all that you are.  I love you all the love in the world and back again….and again…..

Love,

Mommy

Happy 7th Birthday Finley

Today, my Finley, my last baby turns 7 years old.  She is sort of amazing.  I look at her and I can’t believe how much she has changed in 7 short years.  She is nowhere near the tiny little, 7 pound, head full of brown satin hair, baby that I delivered who looked up at me with those giant brown eyes and melted my heart.  She stopped me in my tracks.  That baby girl took my breath away and stole my heart forever.  My love for my girls is immeasurable.  Every year I try to quantify it for them in some way in a post but it always falls short because how can you express the true meaning of to the moon and back plus infinity? 

Today, this tiny little girl with scraped knees and long flowing brown hair and those same big brown eyes makes my heart happy.  I try to commit her sweet face to memory because in this moment, I know, she is changing, evolving, every single second, I breathe in deep and inhale this moment, this child that she is right this minute. 

Finley,

You came into my world and have been my happiness ever since.  Your smile soothes me, your tears tear me down and your sadness destroys me.  Your laughter is so contagious and infectious and can heal the world. On this 7^th anniversary of the day you were born, my beautiful, amazing girl, I wish you a lifetime of the same whole hearted, all in, love that you give to others. 

You are so full of life, vibrant and in total living Technicolor.  You are a rainbow and a unicorn and all that the world has to offer that is good.  You are SO confident and sure of yourself but oh so sensitive at the same time.  I hate when you get your heart broken because I can’t always fix that for you.  But I am here, for today and for always, to hold your hand, to wipe away the tears. 

I love that you stick up for what you believe in and for the underdog.  You are such a sweet sweet girl and are such a great friend.  You love your family with your whole heart.   I love your stubbornness and your follow through.  I love that your heart compels you to get involved when you see a hungry puppy, sick person or a sad child.  I love you for being exactly who you are and I would never change a thing about that.  You are the perfect you in every way.

I celebrate you and all that you have become today and I celebrate the day that I met one of the most amazing people that I have ever known.  I wish you a lifetime of love and acceptance of yourself, I want you to see and love yourself the way that Daddy and  I see you; perfect, just the way you are. 

Happiest 7^th Birthday, my sweet baby girl, with the giant heart.  I love you to the moon and back and back again and again…….

Xoxo,

Mommy