Dear Mason

3 hours old

3 years old

mason,
your bright, blue, hypnotizing eyes are like a window to your soul. you are by far the most expressive child i have ever encountered. looking at you in all your innocence i see the compassion you already bear, the love and joy you embody, the hurt you occasionally feel, and the awe and amazement you experience in every passing moment of each day.

the "terrible twos" officially came to a close for you today. sure, you went bonkers your share of times and we've had our highly unpleasant battles of wills, but all in all, this year has been pretty awesome.

there was a shift this year. in the past, i've written about your shyness and your "slow to warm up" tendencies, but that has begun to fade away. usually at storytime at the library, you would just sit quietly and not interact. but when we went two weeks ago, things were very different. rather than quietly sitting on your carpet square sipping your juice box, you were leaping up to answer each of the questions. "that's a lion!" you shouted and then you roared. you were eager. you were confident. you were engaged. you knew all the answers. you were something so very different than even a month ago. and i was so proud.

this year, something also shifted in the way i viewed you. rather than viewing you as vulnerable, i came to view you as strong. so incredibly strong. and you are so incredibly responsible for your age. and sensible. and thoughtful. and empathetic. and observant. and funny. and beautiful. you, my little girl, are amazing. you are amazing as a person who has just turned three. i do not know exactly what you will do with yourself as an adult (other than preslee’s proclamation that you will be a fish), but you will be something. something fierce. something fantastic.

i do not worry how you will turn out. i think about your future all the time, but i don't worry how you will turn out.

i know.

you are an incredible little person with capabilities and traits that don't belong on someone your age. you will never be anything other than amazing. so i don't wonder.


i know.

i love you, i am amazed by you, mason. you are three, which is mind blowing but somehow not as devastating as i once felt the loss of your babyhood was. i am just loving watching you grow. watching you learn. watching you soar.


i was so lucky to have you be my baby. but i am far luckier to have you be my
daughter.

happy third birthday macey may. i love you,
mommy

Dear Preslee

my dear, sweet, stubborn preslee...you are SO much like me that it scares me. especially when i think what it will be like to deal with your fiercely independent personality in about ten years from now. the more i tell you to do something, the less you want to do it. if knowledge is power then you are going to be one very powerful little girl. you seem to know everything, including things we didn't teach you. having a conversation with you is like having a conversation with an old woman. you are wise, well beyond your three years.

you are very social, too and think nothing of holding your arms out to a room of children and adults for hugs. i love the way you look at me sometimes and say, "mommy", then just fling yourself into my arms for a tight hug and a kiss, right on the lips. you are so strong and adventurous. there isn't much you are afraid of. i love the way you always make sure that mason knows there is nothing to be afraid of. you are such a wonderful big sister!

you couldn't be more strong-headed and strong-willed. while those traits frustrate me, i understand them completely. your momma, sweet girl, is the same way. you are not afraid to speak your mind and i know this will land you in some trouble some day. but, you have persistence and i find that to be a key to success. you are going to be something big. your drive and passion for life is going to get you so far. there is nothing you can't do and i love watching you try and try again until you do just what you set your mind out to accomplish.

you are such a thoughtful little girl. i listen to you and mason playing and laugh when i hear you squeal because you found a new toy and want her to see it. sometimes you do hold her down and push her towards it with her obviously resisting, but the thought is there. you want her to have as much fun as you are having.

sweet preslee, you are SO independent yet so vulnerable at the same time. you are SO observant. so AWARE. and so very sensitive to everything and everyone around you. you are so beautiful. your smile lights up your whole entire face. you take my breath away!

i have enjoyed watching you grow and change every single day of these last three years. your first couple of days in life was rough, but you were such a fighter and came out all the more stronger. your passion for life amazes me. nothing escapes you. you notice everything. there isn't a minute for me to get bored because you want to talk to me every second. i love how happy you are in the morning when i come into get you. you have already gotten up, changed out of your pj's and gotten yourself dressed for the day. most of the time, you are sitting in bed reading a book. and every single day, you say to me, "mommy, i woke up" in the most excited little voice. you can't wait to see what each day will hold. you have such a zest for life! i love that about you.

i know that you are going to change even more in the next year. the days that you are my little baby are gone and now you are an independent, strong toddler. this next year, you are going to turn into an even more amazing little girl. while, i am a little nervous about that, i am excited to see what crazy adventures we will have together. i love you preslee grace, you are my first born and you stole my heart from the first moment i layed eyes on you.

happy birthday baby!
love, mommy

Three Fast Years

it seems like just yesterday i was standing in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office with drew. each of us holding a Snugride car seat having just survived the girls' office visit. they were fourteen days old. we were still (and would be for quite some time after that) in a new parent fog. i remember feeling so surreal when i would go out in public - i, laura was the mother of newborn twins.

so there we stood. stopped at our car. exhausted and trying to remember how to fold up this stretch limo called a double stroller. neither one of us could remember the exact directions. suddenly a car pulled up next to us and the driver's side window glided down. "are those twins?!?!?" an overly chipper woman - probably not much older than me - barked. one of us wearily replied yes, i don't remember who. thus began the rapid fire questions. how old? identical or fraternal? boys, girls or one of each? we answered each question with single word answers - like sleep deprived zombies.

"i've got twin boys - five years old - in the back of the car!" as she motioned to the backseat. then she stopped. her smile faded. looking back i now know that she saw "the look" on both of our faces. that desperate look that all new parents of twins give when they stumble upon a more seasoned parent. the look that SCREAMS 'please tell us this gets easier.' she smiled in a way that only another mother of multiples could smile and said a sentence that will be forever burned in my mind:
"don't worry! it gets really great when they're three!" and with that she sped off. i turned to drew and muttered the word 'three'. at that point i couldn't imagine three weeks let alone three years. every now and then one of us would say 'THREE' and nothing else.

after that, days blurred into weeks and weeks blurred into months. month after sleep deprived month i waited. waited for the night that everyone promised would come. every night i laid my head on the pillow and wondered if maybe THIS would be the night where i close my eyes and don't open them until the sun comes up. then one night, when the girls were 6 months old, it happened. i woke that morning in a panic that i hadn't gotten up once to feed them. we ran into the nursery and there they were, sleeping like two sweet little angels. the day had come! preslee and mason were sleeping all night long!

and now here i sit. on saturday, my baby girls turn three. we finally made it. but let me tell you one thing. that woman in the car was wrong. so. very. wrong. it doesn't get really great when your twins turn three. maybe drew and i aren't the norm, but for us, i think it has always been great. there have been times or should i say months when we were sleep deprived or they cried all day and mommy did too, but when i look around and see the JOY that surrounds us on a daily basis, those hard days don't matter. and every day i see more and more reasons while having twins is, in fact, "really great."

there is no denying that the first year with multiples is possibly the MOST difficult thing i have done. i used to worry that they would somehow remember all the times when one was screaming while i tended to the other. but they don't. i looked at my girls tonight at the dinner table and teared up. how did i get so BLESSED? i have two beautiful girls that couldn't be any less alike yet so similar at the same time. right before my eyes they have gone from tiny little babies to beautiful little girls. we have conversations now. they are so smart and so insightful....so aware. sure, there are moments - heck entire DAYS - when i feel like i would like nothing more than a day to myself where i can stay in my pajamas, watch HGTV and nap on the couch. but then i think - how boring would THAT be? why would i want to spend a day alone when instead i can sit outside and listen to my girls squeal with delight while they chase each other around the yard. i can listen while preslee leans back in her chair next to me and comments on how beautiful the sky is. i can listen while mason swings and twirls around pretending to be the princess that she truly is. i can listen to them chat with each other in the playroom. i can listen while their imaginations take flight and they create amazing worlds of make-believe for each other. who else besides a mother of multiples can be the proverbial fly on the wall and get to watch as the greatest friendship in the world unfolds before her very eyes?
so, with that, i would like to say thank you. thank you to my girls for showing me a love bigger and more powerful than i ever thought possible. i can't really seem to remember what life was like before you came into my life and i can't imagine what life would be like now if you weren't in it. i can't wait to share the rest of your beautiful lives with you. happy 3rd birthday preslee and mason. these last three years have been amazing. i love you more than you will ever know.

love, mommy

Finley's One Year Stats

today was finley's one year pedi appt. i can't believe how much she has grown. she weighs 17 pounds, 13.4 ozs (3%) and is 28 1/2 inches long (25%). she is still so tiny, but steady growing. our sweet little peanut! developmentally, she was right on target, even accomplishing some early milestones.

finley, what are you doing at one year?

-you are still nursing, 3-4 times a day, always at bedtime.
-you are sleeping through the night (12hrs)
-you still take two naps a day and are so grumpy when you don't get your sleep
-you eat everything, no more baby food, only solids. you love to eat!
-you bypassed the bottle and the sippy cup. only a cup with a straw for you. you just started drinking whole milk and love it
-you crawl everywhere and have taken a few steps on your own.
-you are wearing 6-9 month clothes
-you say about 15 words (momma, dada, papaw, heidi, pres, ball, door, hi, bye, hello, book, boon (balloon), eat, blue, biaper (diaper), bun (bunny)
-you have three 1/2 teeth, two on bottom and 1 1/2 (one is still coming in) on top
-you try to feed yourself when i give you a fork or spoon
-when i hand you the phone, you put it up to your ear and point the remote to the tv
-you love to dance, any music causes you to bounce up and down.

and.....you are still the sweetest baby ever!

Finley's First Birthday Party

it's hard to believe that finley's first birthday party has already come and gone. we planned for so many months to create the perfect day for our little girl. and perfect it was. when i started thinking about a theme, finley's sweet shop was the perfect idea because as those of you who know finley know, she is the sweetest little baby ever! how better to celebrate than with lots of pink and sweets!

the house was decorated with flowers, pompoms, balloons and a candy buffet to die for! i made huge pieces of candy and lollipops to decorate with. finley was in heaven! she had so much fun watching everybody and so enjoyed her cake. she's quite the princess using just one finger to take dainty little bites.






there were lots of friends and family there to celebrate. so many people love this little girl and it was nice to have them here for a day all about finley. i know she won't remember this day, but i will. the look on her face and watching my sweet baby girl turn one was worth all the planning. i have so many pictures and video to show her one day. it was the perfect way to spend her day!

Happy First Birthday Finley!

my sweet baby finley,

it was one year ago today when you breathed your first breath in this world. one year since the doctor held you up for us to see and daddy cried out, "it’s another beautiful baby girl!" we just could not believe it. one year since he and i gazed into each other's eyes, beaming, crying. how proud we were that you were born, that you were our daughter. and how proud we are today.

today you are one year old. it's impossible for me to think of your first year and not have my eyes well up with tears. i love you, finley, and i am crying sweet, happy tears as i celebrate the bittersweet fact that you are already growing up. that you are really one year old. i love you so much, finney foo. i eagerly anticipated your first smile, can’t wait for the day when you learn to say your big sisters' names, beamed with pride as you took your first step, and daydream about the days of putting ponytails in your hair.

but to be perfectly honest, if i could bottle you up right now, i would in a beat of my heart. that way i would be able to savor the sweet smell of your head forever. feel your warm baby breath on my cheek as i rock you. brush my fingertips across your soft silky hair. feel a closeness to you like nothing else as i nurse you. gaze forever into your eyes as you search for mine. embrace your tiny, little body. listen forever to your baby gurgles and sighs. rock you as we gaze into the moonlight together, when the rest of our family sleeps, and it is just you and i. sing quiet lullabies to you as your eyelids flutter and close. how had i ever thought life was complete without you?


in the past year, we’ve gone through a lot of changes together. we struggled through those first days of breastfeeding and late nights of both of us crying together in the dark. we bonded in the quiet hours of dawn when just the two of us were awake, even the birds not up and singing. i counted your toes and stroked your head while you slept in my arms, your head pressed against my heart. and we learned together about bottles (you hated them) and diapers (we liked pampers) and the things that you loved (heidi, music, and being held).
i listened to the silence of your sleep and raced to your side more than once- just to check. i have found joy in every single day being your mommy. i watched in amazement as you changed, sometimes from hour to hour, it seemed. we played and we laughed and we snuggled.

and you grew.

from the very beginning, you were an alert baby. eyes wide open and ready to take in the world. curious and nosy by nature, that desire to know and see everything has only grown with you. each day brought a new facial expression, a new vocalization, and pure, sweet joy found in your face. you were smiling around 5 weeks and at 2 months you giggled out loud. during that same time period you rolled over for the first time. at 7 months you were pulling up to stand . at 8 months you crawled and you haven’t stopped moving yet. and just this last week at 11 months, you took your first steps while your daddy, your sisters and i cheered you on.
as i write this letter i want so desperately to tell you every moment of this last year, to help you realize how much i’ve loved each milestone, every giggle, silly look and mischievous grin. i would not trade any minute we’ve spent together. i thank God every day that he sent you to us and i hope someday you can read this letter and know that no parents were ever so blessed and no baby was ever so loved as you and your sisters.

i love you so much, finley, and i am very sad that you won't be my tiny baby forever.
of course, you'll always be my baby in the way that preslee and mason are still my babies. in the way that i am still my mother's baby and in the way that she is still the baby of her parents. grow up you must, grow up you will, and i will find joy and happiness in that journey. but i will always cherish these fleeting baby moments with you. i will enter your childhood with no regrets about your short baby days. i will leave no kiss unkissed and no cuddle uncuddled, no matter what the hour of day or night. i know too well now, my dear sweet third baby, how precious and momentary sweet infancy is.
since i cannot keep you tiny forever, i will make the sweetest, deepest memories that i can, now while you are little. and when you are all grown up, i will fondly remember your first year, with warm, sweet, happy tears in my eyes once again.

i love you, finley. Happy 1st Birthday. i can’t wait for our next year of adventure.

love,
mommy

Preslee's Words of Wisdom

it is amazing to me the things that come out of toddlers mouths. you think that you are just throwing so many things at them everyday and often wonder what exactly they are really comprehending. then all of a sudden, the light comes on and they just start talking and talking and talking........

at school on thursday, preslee was outside with her teacher on the playground. they have an aide who goes out with the kids and the teacher to help and she is older. she was helping preslee off the swing and preslee reached up and touched her cheek. she then said to her, "you have a lot of cracks in your face, just like my grandma."

cracks, honestly? where does she get this? what a funny little girl!

Our January Babies

we are in full birthday party planning mode at our house. finley will turn one on january 14th and preslee and mason will be three on the 30th. so, two weekends in a row, we are having parties. it will be busy, but i love it! party planning is one of my favorite things and having three little girls makes it so much more fun. here are some sneak peaks....

ICE at the Gaylord National

last week we got even more snow and the girls and drew finally got to make the snowman they have been waiting for. the last snow we had, it was so powdery and the girls were so sad. but this one was perfect!






on saturday we drove down to washington, dc to gaylord national hotel for the ICE exhibit they have. it was amazing to say the least. it was an entire winter wonderland made completely out of ice. they had slides for the kids, penguins, music, everything. they keep it a COLD 9 degrees so we had to bundle up in floor length parkas. the hotel was beautiful and had a really pretty light show and "indoor snow storm". it was a quick getaway and a fun way for us to start out 2010!

Christmas 2009

i can't believe that christmas has already come and gone and we have already dove head first into 2010! where has the time gone?

christmas was really special this year because it was the first time that we hosted it in our new house. it was so much fun and in typical beynon style had way too much food. drew and i decided to do something a little different than the traditional christmas meal. we drew from my southern roots and had bbq brisket and collard greens! it was delish! made me miss home even more.

but, the girls had a wonderful christmas and santa was very good to all of us. it was so amazing to wake up and see their faces when they came downstairs. here are some pictures of the madness.

December Catch-up

i know, i know, i am way behind in posting. i have gotten so many emails asking where are all our christmas pictures. well, sad to say, they are on facebook. it's so quick and easy to upload there, but i will try to catch up more often here.

december was so busy for us. i just uploaded all my pictures and realized that i took over 1000 pics last month, CRAZY! drew got me a small point and shoot camera for christmas that i can just throw in my diaper bag, so look out!

we started with snow, then more snow so we spent a lot of time outside playing. the girls love it and don't even mind the 1/2 hr it takes me to completely get all three of them dressed in snowsuits and boots. we gave them their sled early for christmas and enjoyed playing with that too. they had their school christmas party, we had our party at hillendale, decorated cookies, and saw santa. here are some pictures from the first part of the month.