dear preslee and mason,
in just a few short hours, you start preschool. it feels like your daddy and i have been counting down to this moment since you were born: “can you believe in three years they’ll go to school?” “next year at this time they’ll be in school.” “only two more months until school.” but now, looking back it's felt less like a marathon and more like a 50-yard sprint. today we are buying princess backpacks and packing lunches.
as with every other step along this parenting journey, friends, family, even strangers have offered opinions on how i’ll feel tomorrow. i haven’t a clue but i do know that when the door closes and i get that last glimpse of you for 3 1/2 hours, you’ll crowd my thoughts: what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, if you’re ok, if you’re eating your lunch and using your manners, if you miss me and your baby sister and your daddy.
being a parent has been interesting, frightening, rewarding, and frustrating, sometimes all at once. your daddy and i prayed so hard for you. on the day you were born, you were babies so welcomed and wondered over. a perfect set of twins, the first girls in the beynon family. you were so tiny and ready to meet the world. from the first time i held you both in my arms and saw those little fists balled up and your sweet little red faces when you cried, i knew that you would be something big. look out world, here come my girls!
i was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with you and spend every second marveling in your development. like so many parents of our generation, we tried to give you those “must-haves” the experts insisted on: breastfeeding: Check. lots of books: Check. minimal TV: Check. early preschool: Check. [mostly] healthy meals: Check. your whole life, you’ve had options and choices, a fortunate distinction from most of the rest of the world.
while i have given you advantages and can buy those school supplies and pack your lunch, you’ll have to go it alone. that’s why as the days draw nearer to the start of school, you test the waters, asking questions, imitating imagined conversations, thinking aloud what this strange new world will be like. mason, you have always been cautious, watching and learning before jumping in. it's a trait that comes with some limitations, but it also has its advantages. preslee, always sporting a bruise or a cut, will be cliff diving while you are checking the ropes for her.
once i expressed my own hesitations about school to a teacher friend. her advice stuck with me: the hardest part of releasing you to preschool — or any new experience — is realizing that i must give you up to the less-than-perfect world that awaits you.
while the world has been and always will be imperfect, i too have been an imperfect parent. but i was always willing to learn, to say i was sorry, to try harder the next time. and now i’m willing to release you, with the knowledge that school, like parenting, will be rewarding and frustrating and i cannot change that. despite all those fortunes in your early life, you will have sad days and lonely days and days when you just don’t want to go, when your teacher doesn’t notice you or your best friend won’t play with you or another kid is mean to you. and those days, my girls, will break my heart.
if there are a few thoughts that carry you through, let them be this: while your daddy and i have to let you go, no matter what you think or do or become we will always be there for you and listen. dive off that cliff occasionally (check the rope first). and know that in our imperfect world, with all my imperfect ways, i have been given you and your baby sister, the three most perfect gifts that any parent could ever hope for.
preslee and mason, i love you and am so proud of you!
mommy
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Busy, Busy Summer
we have been so busy this summer that i just haven't had the chance to update about any of the fun things that we have been doing. with three kids under 4, gone are the lazy days of summer. we have been running almost everyday from sun up until sun down and we have been having so much fun.
MAY
at the end of may we took a 3 week vacation to pensacola, atlanta and then to brevard, nc to spend time with my parents. drew was with us for a week and then he headed back to baltimore for work.
our trip to pensacola was amazing! i hadn't been home in almost 5 years and it was wonderful to see friends and family that i have missed so much. we took the girls to the beach and showed them the house where i grew up. they got to see their mamaw, lots of aunts, uncles and cousins and their granny who they had never met before!
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010
18 month Stats
forgot to post finley's 18 month stats. she was 20 pounds 12.8 ozs (3%) and 30 1/2 inches tall (25%). still a peanut, but oh so spunky!
Happy 18 months Finley!
finley,
today you are 18 months old. really, how can you be 1 1/2 years old?
while we know it is unavoidable…i mourn how quickly you are growing up. you morphed from my tiny baby girl to a full blown toddler in the blink of an eye. as much i want to believe you will be the first to defy the hands of time, i am powerless against the clock. it just keeps ticking with no regard to my heart…and each day you grow up a bit more.
you are generous in every way. you love deeply and express tenderness in a million ways… a shy, yet flirtatious smile from across the room, gentle pats on my back while you say "mommy", soft kisses anywhere you can plant them. you give and you give freely. no possession is so prized that you are unwilling to share it with others, except for bun-bun. oh how you love bun-bun.
finley, your charm, determination and intelligence amaze us. i love to watch you try to put on your sisters dress up clothes. you struggle, with your little tongue stuck out, working so hard, until you either get it or you fall over in a heap, in tears. no task is too big for you. you are a treasure and i cherish our special relationship.
you are and have always been an amazing sleeper. you sleep all night and still nap sometimes twice a day. i used to hate the days when you wouldn't nap at the same time as your sisters. sometimes mommy needs just a little "by herself" time. but lately, as i watch you grow so fast, i treasure that hour that you wake up early. it's just the two of us, walking around outside or sitting on the front porch, drinking "juicy" (juice) and chatting like girlfriends.
you are quite the conversationalist. i know before long, you will be talking even more than your sisters. i don't even know how many words you can say because there are so many. some of the cute things you say are, see-da (see ya), side (outside), nuff (enough), cake cakes (pancakes), pessy(preslee), mae-mae (mason), tutt (touch), muck (milk).
you have the sweetest spirit. you are tenacious and determined but tender through and through. you love life and you especially love to laugh and sometimes you even snort when you laugh. one of the sweetest sounds i know is your giddy laughter ringing through the house when your sisters are chasing you.
no one makes you laugh like your sisters. just today, i videotaped you just bursting into laughter over cereal. i didn't see the humor, but you three did. you just laughed and laughed. it is so heartwarming to see my three girls together and so in love with each other. i know as the years pass, you will have your share of fights and not always get along, but i pray that the bond you have now always is as tight as it is today. that you three will always be the best of friends, just like your aunt amy and i.
you commanded respect when you became this little person with your own intelligence and temperament. and most of all, you remind me of the grace that you are, everyday of your life. you are so special finley and you complete our family. we love you so much. happy 18 months sweet girl!
i love you,
mommy
today you are 18 months old. really, how can you be 1 1/2 years old?
while we know it is unavoidable…i mourn how quickly you are growing up. you morphed from my tiny baby girl to a full blown toddler in the blink of an eye. as much i want to believe you will be the first to defy the hands of time, i am powerless against the clock. it just keeps ticking with no regard to my heart…and each day you grow up a bit more.
you are generous in every way. you love deeply and express tenderness in a million ways… a shy, yet flirtatious smile from across the room, gentle pats on my back while you say "mommy", soft kisses anywhere you can plant them. you give and you give freely. no possession is so prized that you are unwilling to share it with others, except for bun-bun. oh how you love bun-bun.
finley, your charm, determination and intelligence amaze us. i love to watch you try to put on your sisters dress up clothes. you struggle, with your little tongue stuck out, working so hard, until you either get it or you fall over in a heap, in tears. no task is too big for you. you are a treasure and i cherish our special relationship.
you are and have always been an amazing sleeper. you sleep all night and still nap sometimes twice a day. i used to hate the days when you wouldn't nap at the same time as your sisters. sometimes mommy needs just a little "by herself" time. but lately, as i watch you grow so fast, i treasure that hour that you wake up early. it's just the two of us, walking around outside or sitting on the front porch, drinking "juicy" (juice) and chatting like girlfriends.
you are quite the conversationalist. i know before long, you will be talking even more than your sisters. i don't even know how many words you can say because there are so many. some of the cute things you say are, see-da (see ya), side (outside), nuff (enough), cake cakes (pancakes), pessy(preslee), mae-mae (mason), tutt (touch), muck (milk).
you have the sweetest spirit. you are tenacious and determined but tender through and through. you love life and you especially love to laugh and sometimes you even snort when you laugh. one of the sweetest sounds i know is your giddy laughter ringing through the house when your sisters are chasing you.
no one makes you laugh like your sisters. just today, i videotaped you just bursting into laughter over cereal. i didn't see the humor, but you three did. you just laughed and laughed. it is so heartwarming to see my three girls together and so in love with each other. i know as the years pass, you will have your share of fights and not always get along, but i pray that the bond you have now always is as tight as it is today. that you three will always be the best of friends, just like your aunt amy and i.
you commanded respect when you became this little person with your own intelligence and temperament. and most of all, you remind me of the grace that you are, everyday of your life. you are so special finley and you complete our family. we love you so much. happy 18 months sweet girl!
i love you,
mommy
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Happy Father's Day
we feel blessed and grateful to have a wonderful, caring, involved daddy in our lives! he has so many great qualities but the one that stands out above the others is the way he shows his love to our girls. they love him right back in their own ways, and it just seems to be something so much more than luck. the relationship between drew and our girls is a gift that goes both ways. i am sure he would say he is the luckiest daddy in the world, but the girls would all say they wouldn't want any other daddy than him.
drew has stolen each of their hearts as only he can. we just want to tell him that he is loved and adored and appreciated each and everyday by our whole family. we're so glad to be the ones to hug and kiss you and laugh and play with you every day. thanks for being such a devoted daddy!! happy father's day from your beautiful baby girls, preslee, mason and finley. we love you so much!
drew has stolen each of their hearts as only he can. we just want to tell him that he is loved and adored and appreciated each and everyday by our whole family. we're so glad to be the ones to hug and kiss you and laugh and play with you every day. thanks for being such a devoted daddy!! happy father's day from your beautiful baby girls, preslee, mason and finley. we love you so much!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Road Trip
may was a busy month for the beynon's. i celebrated my 29th birthday (just kidding) with lots of friends and family and we planned our first road trip since finley was born. we have taken trips as a family before, but never just the 5 of us and never 10+ hours in the car with three little ones. some of you might think we are crazy and maybe we are a little, but it worked. how you ask? just a few simple rules we followed. i can't say that i am an expert, pretty far from it actually, but this is what worked for us.
Wear earplugs. seriously, sometimes we wear earplugs. not when you are the one driving of course, but earplugs work well.
Time it wisely. plan most of your travel during naptime or bedtime. we are lucky that all three of our little beauties still nap. finley is sometimes good for two naps still, but they all three always take an afternoon nap. you can really get some good travel time behind you while they are all asleep and not fighting!
Bring library books or magazines. seriously. are kids eat these up. something new to look at can keep them occupied for hours. or at the very least 5 minutes. 5 glorious minutes...
DVD's. enough said. lots of DVD's.
Focus on surviving.
car time may never be our family’s biggest bonding time. and i’ve learned to be okay with that. sometimes, i just focus on surviving. if everyone’s alive when we arrive at point B from point A, i consider it a job well done. really, isn’t that what motherhood is about sometimes?
Stop frequently. But not too frequently.
we make some stops when we travel, but for the most part, we barrel on down the road, just trying to get where we’re going. besides, when one kiddo falls asleep, we hate to stop because we know that snooze will come to an end. when we do stop, though, we burn off as much energy as we can. find a place to eat with a playground. let the kids play while you eat. they can eat in the car once you start driving again.
Realize that, no matter what, we will get there.
and won’t everyone be happier if Mama didn’t shout on the way there? sometimes, i just give into the chaos, letting it wash over me instead of reacting. it’s true. i sometimes ignore it. they’ll only be little once. they’ll only have obnoxious, squealing toddler voices once. they are my life. i love them. even when it's 10 hours in the car.
Wear earplugs. seriously, sometimes we wear earplugs. not when you are the one driving of course, but earplugs work well.
Time it wisely. plan most of your travel during naptime or bedtime. we are lucky that all three of our little beauties still nap. finley is sometimes good for two naps still, but they all three always take an afternoon nap. you can really get some good travel time behind you while they are all asleep and not fighting!
Bring library books or magazines. seriously. are kids eat these up. something new to look at can keep them occupied for hours. or at the very least 5 minutes. 5 glorious minutes...
DVD's. enough said. lots of DVD's.
Focus on surviving.
car time may never be our family’s biggest bonding time. and i’ve learned to be okay with that. sometimes, i just focus on surviving. if everyone’s alive when we arrive at point B from point A, i consider it a job well done. really, isn’t that what motherhood is about sometimes?
Stop frequently. But not too frequently.
we make some stops when we travel, but for the most part, we barrel on down the road, just trying to get where we’re going. besides, when one kiddo falls asleep, we hate to stop because we know that snooze will come to an end. when we do stop, though, we burn off as much energy as we can. find a place to eat with a playground. let the kids play while you eat. they can eat in the car once you start driving again.
Realize that, no matter what, we will get there.
and won’t everyone be happier if Mama didn’t shout on the way there? sometimes, i just give into the chaos, letting it wash over me instead of reacting. it’s true. i sometimes ignore it. they’ll only be little once. they’ll only have obnoxious, squealing toddler voices once. they are my life. i love them. even when it's 10 hours in the car.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
What a Mom Wants
being a mom takes a lot of time, energy, patience, sacrifice and prayer. it's the most taxing job i've ever had. but i would never exchange it for anything.
recently i got an email from my awesome friend who i put up on a pedestal on being a funny, creative, and loving mom asking me the question: "what do mother's want?" my first thought was "a massage...sleep...quiet time every day." i wanted to write back a witty response to make her smile or even laugh...but decided to walk away from the computer, and sit and stew on this one.
what do i want?
i took two full days to sit and think, and stare at my girls.
for a long time i sat quietly and stared at them thinking.
"what, as a mother, do i want?"
here's a little of what i came up with:
-i want my kids to be safe, happy, healthy, successful in whatever they choose to be. -i want them to be able to handle their trials and learn from them.
-i want them to have healthy relationships.
-i want my kids to think i'm the coolest person alive.
-i want my kids to learn to work hard, and enjoy the fruits of their labor.
-i want them to think about their future at a young age.
-i want my kids to be smart with their money, their education, their investments. i want them to hold tight to what we try to teach them, that God is good.
-i want my kids to have faith that good can prevail.
-i want them to be smarter than the average American thought of "you need this now, and you can pay for it later."
-i want my kids to be safe from an abusive relationship.
-i want my kids to have great friends.
-i want my kids to not be bullied.
-i want my kids to value school.
-i want my kids to want to be good.
-i want my kids to want to stay morally clean.
-i want my daughters to be mothers.
-i want them to be able to fix their own problems because of what i taught them.
-i want them to not do drugs.
-i want my girls to always be best friends.
-i want them to be goody two shoes till their wedding night.
-i want my kids to basically be in a bubble that will protect them from anything harmful, anything wrong, and anything that will bring them pain.
as my thoughts swirled into a chaotic mess, and as i started to hyperventilate at the thought that my kids are going to have face so much as they grow up...i stopped. wiped away the tears, i sat and i stared at my beautiful kids that i would lay down my own life for, and the final answer came to me:
"what do i want?"
"i want to be a good mother at every stage of their life. i want to be there for them and to be able to handle the choices (good and bad) they make with grace, humility, and love. i want to always be able to love them, and forgive them, and to always have open arms when they need me. i want them to know how much i rely on the Lord. i hope to be a good example that they would want to do what is right and good not by my words but by my actions."
so scratch all that other stuff. (well not really but you know what i mean)
i just want to be good for them.
that's all that matters.
nothing else can come close to that in my world.
i just hope to be a good one.
and that makes me nervous just the same.
happy mothers day! may we all get exactly what we want!
recently i got an email from my awesome friend who i put up on a pedestal on being a funny, creative, and loving mom asking me the question: "what do mother's want?" my first thought was "a massage...sleep...quiet time every day." i wanted to write back a witty response to make her smile or even laugh...but decided to walk away from the computer, and sit and stew on this one.
what do i want?
i took two full days to sit and think, and stare at my girls.
for a long time i sat quietly and stared at them thinking.
"what, as a mother, do i want?"
here's a little of what i came up with:
-i want my kids to be safe, happy, healthy, successful in whatever they choose to be. -i want them to be able to handle their trials and learn from them.
-i want them to have healthy relationships.
-i want my kids to think i'm the coolest person alive.
-i want my kids to learn to work hard, and enjoy the fruits of their labor.
-i want them to think about their future at a young age.
-i want my kids to be smart with their money, their education, their investments. i want them to hold tight to what we try to teach them, that God is good.
-i want my kids to have faith that good can prevail.
-i want them to be smarter than the average American thought of "you need this now, and you can pay for it later."
-i want my kids to be safe from an abusive relationship.
-i want my kids to have great friends.
-i want my kids to not be bullied.
-i want my kids to value school.
-i want my kids to want to be good.
-i want my kids to want to stay morally clean.
-i want my daughters to be mothers.
-i want them to be able to fix their own problems because of what i taught them.
-i want them to not do drugs.
-i want my girls to always be best friends.
-i want them to be goody two shoes till their wedding night.
-i want my kids to basically be in a bubble that will protect them from anything harmful, anything wrong, and anything that will bring them pain.
as my thoughts swirled into a chaotic mess, and as i started to hyperventilate at the thought that my kids are going to have face so much as they grow up...i stopped. wiped away the tears, i sat and i stared at my beautiful kids that i would lay down my own life for, and the final answer came to me:
"what do i want?"
"i want to be a good mother at every stage of their life. i want to be there for them and to be able to handle the choices (good and bad) they make with grace, humility, and love. i want to always be able to love them, and forgive them, and to always have open arms when they need me. i want them to know how much i rely on the Lord. i hope to be a good example that they would want to do what is right and good not by my words but by my actions."
so scratch all that other stuff. (well not really but you know what i mean)
i just want to be good for them.
that's all that matters.
nothing else can come close to that in my world.
i just hope to be a good one.
and that makes me nervous just the same.
happy mothers day! may we all get exactly what we want!
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