A Year Ago Today

a year ago today, i couldn't sleep, so i got up, got dressed and had done two loads of laundry by the time that drew woke up for work. i had been feeling worn out and run down and to top it off i had a strange feeling that i might possibly be pregnant.
i had a left over expired pregnancy test from the girls so i took that and it was positive. not knowing whether or not it was positive because it was a faulty test or because i really was pregnant, i went to the store and bought another one. my suspicions were confirmed on may 22, 2008.

what i couldn't have known though, was how much love finley would add to our life and home. i couldn't have dreamed up bigger eyes or a cuter smile or a more perfect nose. i had no idea her skin would be so soft, her hair so silky, or her laughter could make my heart almost burst. a year ago i wondered just how life would be for our family as we would have to make room for a new baby. now i know. it almost makes me want to have three more.

Painting and Singing

days go by when i am so busy with finley that i feel guilty that i didn't get to spend enough one on one time with preslee and mason. so, during her naptimes, i try to do things with them. here are my silly girls!

Talking to mommy

i love to hear my sweet finley talking.

Rolling, rolling, rolling

finley has started rolling everywhere. i lay her down and find her across the room. here she goes.......

Happy 4 months Finley!

UPDATE: finley had her 4 month appt today. she is still a little peanut, despite the fact that she eats 24/7. she weighs 11 pounds, 9 ozs (10%) and is 23 3/4 inches long (25%), healthy as can be!

finley:
sweetheart, here it is the 14th again and i realize that another month has passed. today you are 4 months old. everyday that passes you are learning and accomplishing so much more than the day before. you just amaze me.
you are becoming such a little ham. i love your shy, flirty smile that you give and how silly you can be. i think you are going to have the greatest personality and can't wait to see how much fun we are going to have.

we have moved you up to size 1 diapers. i'm going to need you to quit growing. we had a little talk about this yesterday - mommy needs you to stay small enough to lay in my lap forever. time - please stand still.

in the last couple of weeks, you have really started laughing out loud. you are the cutest thing ever and i really imagined this petite, little laugh from you. but, oh no, it's the loudest, deepest belly laugh ever. we love it and will do anything to make you laugh.

you LOVE trying to stand up. your little legs are so strong - i swear you could almost stand by yourself. you have the most determined look on your face

you must know how type "a" your mommy is. i thrive on order and routine. but, you don't follow that pattern. even at 4 months, i never know when you will nap or how long those naps will be. you don't eat every 3-4 hrs like the books say, you eat whenever you feel like it. you are sleeping through the night and for that, i must say, "praise the lord!"

you love "Praise Baby" videos most and you smile and kick your feet like you are trying to dance.

you are pretty attached to me (secretly love that). i have only left you twice in 4 months and when we are home, you want to be in my arms.

you can roll from your belly to your back and then back over onto your belly. when we put you down, you push with your feet and hands. i think it won't be long before we see you start to scoot and try to crawl.

you recognize our voices and faces too. when preslee, mason, daddy or i talk to you, you turn your head to see us and just grin.


finley clark in 4 short months, your daddy, your sisters and i have fallen head over heels for you. you have added so much more to our already wonderful little family. we can't wait to see what the next 4 months brings for us. we love you!

mommy

Mother's Day 2009

i will never forget my first mother's day. preslee and mason were only 3 1/2 months old as i cradled them in my arms and whispered, "you're the best mother's day present ever." the day seemed surreal. how strange it all was – being someone's mom! the girls were baptized that day and we spent the day with our family, my own mom mothering me and marveling at her second and third grandchildren. each time someone said how beautiful the girls were, i felt a swelling of pride and satisfaction at a "job well done."

but these maternal feelings did not start on mother's day. they surfaced months prior, on the day i found out i was pregnant and my image of myself was changed forever. the day i saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test was the beginning of my evolution as a mother. i began to take care of myself as though i were already holding my babies, and indeed, i was. drew also began treating me differently. he became more protective of me and the two little lives that i was growing.

the months that led up to that first mother's day were long and challenging, yet not nearly enough time to prepare for the life-altering reality that it is to become someone's mom. but as i lay cuddled with preslee and mason on that first mother's day morning, i realized that these two little people were an extension of myself, and i was ready for all the changes that motherhood would bring.

by my second mother's day, i felt much more at ease with my newfound role. after all, having survived a year with twins made me a veteran mom deserving of a day in my honor. i really had begun to understand what it meant to be a parent. i think becoming a parent is the only way to truly appreciate and understand your own parents. little did i know that i was already pregnant with our third baby girl, finley. eleven days later, we found out our wonderful news!

that day was magical; i felt full of anticipation and hope that i would become a mother for the third time, and later that year, i did. finley clark was born january 14, 2009, exactly on the date of her scheduled c-section. she was just as healthy and beautiful as her sisters and all my fears and anxiety were chased away by fulfilled dreams and prayers.

this brings us to my third mother's day. though i have not yet celebrated it, i can tell you that this year's celebration will be the most significant. i have so much to be thankful for as a mother: three healthy children who love me unconditionally. they are too young to know what mother's day is about, so this day is really for me to celebrate our life together, to revel in their smiles, to cherish being their mother. and i do cherish being their mother.

this day will remind me just how in love with them i am. the day-to-day business of life can make it difficult to focus on all the things that make children so special, the joy they bring and the love they embody. i think we all need that reminder sometimes.

and in case you need it, here's your reminder: never let motherhood take on such a feeling of routine that a glance at your children no longer leaves you in awe. mother's day is to honor all of us who claim the title, but it's also a day for us to honor the task that we have been given. it's nice if your kids are old enough to draw you a picture, offer flowers or give a gift. but the real joy of mother's day – no matter the age of your children – is to celebrate within ourselves the immense love that we feel for these beings we've created. and once you have the hang of that, isn't every day mother's day?

Chatty Kathy

finley has become quite the smiler and talker. she has such a sweet open mouth smile that lights up her whole face and such a silly personality. she will start smiling and then just cracks up laughing at herself.