Happy 1st Birthday Preslee and Mason

my sweet preslee and mason,

today is a milestone in your life! it is your first birthday. as i am writing this letter and looking back i am amazed at how fast this year has gone by. it seems like just yesterday that i held you in my arms for the first time. i sit here and think about the day you were born. you were tucked away, in my belly, just the three of us. we shared private moments that were our little secret. a mother daughter bond created even before we laid eyes on each other. as I looked down at your angelic little faces for the first time, i thanked God. it was a long, sometimes scary 7 ½ months, but we did it. my heart was bursting with love, it was as if i had known you my whole life.

just yesterday you depended on me for everything, now, looking into your beautiful eyes, i see my independent little one-year-old babies. though so independent, you still rely on your mommy for many things. you trust that when you cry, i will care for your needs. you trust that i will be the last face you see as you fall asleep and the first when you awake for the day. you trust that i will show you the world and hold your hand as we face each new day, and that we will do it together.

the world can sometimes be a very scary place, but your life will only be as good as you make it. each day you awake, i want you to feel fortunate that God has blessed you with another day. take time to look at the sun as it sets across the sky, to walk barefoot in the wet grass, to smell the air right after the rain. while all of these are small things, they will teach you to appreciate life and what you have. that's what makes life worthwhile, it's not what you don't have or what you can't do, it's what you DO have and what you CAN do. and girls, you can do anything you put your heart into. i have faith in you.

everyday you amaze me, you stump me, you humble me. every night i watch you sleep, counting breaths, marveling at your beautiful long eye lashes, the dreams that make you smile and coo. you have always been ahead of the game, eyes open and searching even those first few days of life. later, you would lift your head and arms, trying for hours to push yourself up, wobbling, concentrated, determined. how strange it seems that a few months ago your small fingers could barely grasp at a rattle, now you are trying to take those first steps all by yourself. i remember the day you decided to crawl, rocking carefully, then springing forward, sprawling flat on the ground with the force of your effort. but by the end of the week you were crawling! soon came pulling up, then standing, then now, you are taking your first shaky steps. the rest is history, climbing and rolling, squatting and reaching, always learning. you are so special to everyone who crosses your path. only on this earth for a year and you have touched so many lives, i can only hope that you continue to do this. you have a special love for everyone and a special way of making them smile. the first girls among all those beynon boys!

always remember who you are, where you came from and what it took to get you where you are in life. life brings many ups and downs. never feel like you are alone. God is always with you and he will be your strength. have faith in this! your daddy and i love you and through it all we will be the ones to stand by your side. i will do my best to protect you from any heartache and pain you may face, but i can't shelter you from it all. rough times will make you a very strong person and you will appreciate it in the long run.

never be afraid to be yourself. never be afraid to be honest with anyone. don't be scared to trust others. if someone hurts or betrays you, turn the other cheek and forgive them. laugh, don't forget to laugh! your giggles are just one of the many, many things i love about you. the whole room lights up when you laugh and my heart sings. laugh with your friends, laugh at the world and most of all laugh at yourself. dream big. dream colorful, dream magic, dream beyond the stars. everything big starts as something small. look at you, girls. leap high and go for it!

preslee and mason, you are all i ever wanted in a child. in you i have it all. you have taught me to love, you have given me something to wake up to every morning. you are my sunshine on a dark day, my breath when i can't breathe, my heart, my soul, my everything. if i never get another gift in my life i will be fortunate because God blessed me with you. your smile lighting up your eyes reminds me that everything is going to be all right. your wet, open-mouthed kisses show me that i am loved. all you have given me already, and all that you will give me through the years makes me the most fortunate person in the world. you have taught me so many things this year, the fine cuisine of soggy cheerios, the splashing water in the bath tub. you have taught me that tupperware is a hat, that a spotted towel is fascinating, that a cookie cutter provides hours of amusement. you have taught me patience, and love, and terrible fear. every day brings me to my knees in thanks for your existence, for your wisdom, for your health.

we are only beginning our life together, before i know it you will be starting school, then college and someday your own family. our time together seems so short, but i will treasure each day. i am going to be the best mommy i know how to be for you. i know i will make mistakes; but i will always love you with all my heart. my greatest hope is that you will have peace and joy in your life. and so, my dearest daughters, on the anniversary of my most memorable day, i salute you. may this next year bring you many discoveries, may you feel loved and cherished by your big, crazy family. may you keep that wonder, that fearlessness that inspires you to climb the stairs and sofa. may you continue to find the joy in the small things, goldfish crackers, the shapes and colors of fruit, or the way the light comes through the curtains, making patterns on the floor.

i will always be here for you, when you want to play peekaboo, or snuggle, or when you want to be a monster and chase me. when you wake up at four AM, crying because your teeth hurt, i will always hold you close and sing the “magic kisses song”. i will try to let you go, to let you discover, i know you need that. as i watch you explore your world, always know, i am your BIGGEST fan.

i have faith in you my beautiful daughters. i love you forever and look forward to a lifetime of experiences with you.

happy birthday my sweet Preslee and Mason!

I love you,
Mama