Three Fast Years

it seems like just yesterday i was standing in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office with drew. each of us holding a Snugride car seat having just survived the girls' office visit. they were fourteen days old. we were still (and would be for quite some time after that) in a new parent fog. i remember feeling so surreal when i would go out in public - i, laura was the mother of newborn twins.

so there we stood. stopped at our car. exhausted and trying to remember how to fold up this stretch limo called a double stroller. neither one of us could remember the exact directions. suddenly a car pulled up next to us and the driver's side window glided down. "are those twins?!?!?" an overly chipper woman - probably not much older than me - barked. one of us wearily replied yes, i don't remember who. thus began the rapid fire questions. how old? identical or fraternal? boys, girls or one of each? we answered each question with single word answers - like sleep deprived zombies.

"i've got twin boys - five years old - in the back of the car!" as she motioned to the backseat. then she stopped. her smile faded. looking back i now know that she saw "the look" on both of our faces. that desperate look that all new parents of twins give when they stumble upon a more seasoned parent. the look that SCREAMS 'please tell us this gets easier.' she smiled in a way that only another mother of multiples could smile and said a sentence that will be forever burned in my mind:
"don't worry! it gets really great when they're three!" and with that she sped off. i turned to drew and muttered the word 'three'. at that point i couldn't imagine three weeks let alone three years. every now and then one of us would say 'THREE' and nothing else.

after that, days blurred into weeks and weeks blurred into months. month after sleep deprived month i waited. waited for the night that everyone promised would come. every night i laid my head on the pillow and wondered if maybe THIS would be the night where i close my eyes and don't open them until the sun comes up. then one night, when the girls were 6 months old, it happened. i woke that morning in a panic that i hadn't gotten up once to feed them. we ran into the nursery and there they were, sleeping like two sweet little angels. the day had come! preslee and mason were sleeping all night long!

and now here i sit. on saturday, my baby girls turn three. we finally made it. but let me tell you one thing. that woman in the car was wrong. so. very. wrong. it doesn't get really great when your twins turn three. maybe drew and i aren't the norm, but for us, i think it has always been great. there have been times or should i say months when we were sleep deprived or they cried all day and mommy did too, but when i look around and see the JOY that surrounds us on a daily basis, those hard days don't matter. and every day i see more and more reasons while having twins is, in fact, "really great."

there is no denying that the first year with multiples is possibly the MOST difficult thing i have done. i used to worry that they would somehow remember all the times when one was screaming while i tended to the other. but they don't. i looked at my girls tonight at the dinner table and teared up. how did i get so BLESSED? i have two beautiful girls that couldn't be any less alike yet so similar at the same time. right before my eyes they have gone from tiny little babies to beautiful little girls. we have conversations now. they are so smart and so insightful....so aware. sure, there are moments - heck entire DAYS - when i feel like i would like nothing more than a day to myself where i can stay in my pajamas, watch HGTV and nap on the couch. but then i think - how boring would THAT be? why would i want to spend a day alone when instead i can sit outside and listen to my girls squeal with delight while they chase each other around the yard. i can listen while preslee leans back in her chair next to me and comments on how beautiful the sky is. i can listen while mason swings and twirls around pretending to be the princess that she truly is. i can listen to them chat with each other in the playroom. i can listen while their imaginations take flight and they create amazing worlds of make-believe for each other. who else besides a mother of multiples can be the proverbial fly on the wall and get to watch as the greatest friendship in the world unfolds before her very eyes?
so, with that, i would like to say thank you. thank you to my girls for showing me a love bigger and more powerful than i ever thought possible. i can't really seem to remember what life was like before you came into my life and i can't imagine what life would be like now if you weren't in it. i can't wait to share the rest of your beautiful lives with you. happy 3rd birthday preslee and mason. these last three years have been amazing. i love you more than you will ever know.

love, mommy